Happy Thanksgiving

Take a moment and watch this: Sue Thomas, Pray for me.

I’ve been having a bit of a Sue Thomas FB Eye marathon. I have been so busy writing this month for NaNoWriMo that I’ve put my T.V. watching on the back burner. Thank God for dvr, right?

I love that show. It’s uplifting and hilarious. Sadly, I believe it lasted only 3 seasons and today I watched the finale. The song they sang at the end of it was Michael W. Smith’s “Pray for me”, sung by; Emily Dragoman.

Once upon a time it would have bothered me a great deal to admit - it made me cry. I used to view crying as a weakness. I also viewed it as something that could get you into trouble. When I was little and Dad would give one of us a spanking, of course we were going to cry right? Well, Dad didn’t want us crying and would threaten another spanking if we didn’t hush up. In his own way I believe he was saying, “Toughen up”.

Toughen up I did, so much so that I would refuse to cry in front of anyone, except Mom. Mom rented a movie once called, Sommersby – with Richard Gear. Oh, how I hated that movie. It did not end right at all and it made me cry. The first and one movie to make me cry, and Mom well she loved to take the mickey out of me for it, still does. In her way I think she was telling me, “It’s okay, lighten up.”

Even still for years I kept my tears to myself. I’d toughen up the way Dad wanted and later when I was alone and no one was watching. I’d lighten up the way Mom said was ok. Sadly, I’d pick on people for crying…which meant I’d better never let them see me do it or I’d never live it down. I pray they’ve forgiven me for appearing heartless.

A few years ago I served in a ministry – you’ve heard me talk of it before Mom 2 Mom. Mom 2 Mom taught me a lot about crying – crazy as that sounds. Yes, we need to be tough so that we can handle some of the things life throws at us; my Dad taught me a good lesson. We also need to lighten up too.

Mom 2 Mom taught me that it is okay to show your heart. I once read that “a broken heart is an open heart”. I know that to be true. I also know about the walls we tend to build around our heart once it’s been broken, afraid to let anyone in for fear of being hurt again. What we are unaware of is the blessings that accompany an open heart.

It is still a battle for me today, for some reason I’m not a hundred percent comfortable with openly crying. Sometimes it catches me off guard, my heart falls open, and I let go. Yesterday was one of those days. Had anyone been home with me, I couldn’t have hid the fact that the ending of Sue Thomas made me cry.

Why?

That is a question I always ask. Why are you crying? Why am I crying? Is this a happy cry, sad cry, hurt cry, angry cry…you get my point?

The answer to yesterday’s emotional release was an overwhelming feeling of thanksgiving. Imagine that?

I have been blessed to meet and know people all over the world, privilege of being a military wife. I have family and friends in several states and now England too.

This month I’ve asked my kids to tell me something each day they are thankful for. I must say I’ve have been given a few unique answers, example: volume buttons.

So what is it I am thankful for most of all these season? The answer is memories. Some of them make me laugh and some make me cry. Some make me miss home and some make me glad I’m not there. However, it’s the memories we’ve created with people along this journey that keep us going. Allow us to look back with thanksgiving in our hearts.

I am not ashamed to say that the ending of Sue Thomas brought about a flood of memories that had tears streaming from my face. My hugging quilt of love, signed by members of Mom 2 Mom, held me close and wiped my tears away as I traveled back in time to memories most precious. What I found is that even though time is the enemy and the road is constantly dividing – I am at peace. I know someday love will bring us back around whether that be on earth or in heaven, someday the circle will be complete.

Until then, I am thankful for the ties the bind and the prayers that you pray for me and my family. England does not celebrate Thanksgiving, so tomorrow when you are joined at the table with your families and friends making memories a new… over here in England, around our table, we are praying for you with thanksgiving in our hearts for we have been blessed with memories of you.

Happy Thanksgiving America, Family, and Friends! We love you, we miss you, and we pray for you.

Pray for us,

The VanWinkle’s