Perhaps the need to simply write is also from watch too much Sex in the City. I never really watched that show before. I mean yes, I watched a few episodes here and there...but that was it.
Then before I left Ohio, I went out with the "girls". There was 10 of us or so and we all went to the Theater to watch the Sex in the City movie. Since then I've just kinda gotten into it, I want to know the "story". It allows me to remember the times I had with my friends, whom I dearly miss.
Now, I admit I could do without some of the language and explicit scenes, but that's what makes the show "real". If you can not be real in your relationships, what's the point in having them? What makes a good tv show or movie? The realness of it. Fake, just doesn't work for me.
I believe what I relate to most though is Carrie and her writing. She doesn't sit and write all the time or every day. She writes when it it strikes her, when the mood is there.
A lot of times I ignore that mood when it strikes. Then I forget what it is I wanted to write, what it was I was thinking, questioning, wondering, and so today...thanks to Carrie, I'm not ignoring that call.
Recently, I've been thinking a lot about cultures and there differences. That of course probably has a lot to do with the fact that I am an American living in England. We may speak the same language, but there are some words that are different, some phrases that I don't quite get, and a few other little quirks. I'm sure the British would say the same thing about me. People that talk to me no matter what country they are from, probably wonder "what is she talking about!" I'm pretty sure my family wonders that on a regular basis.
I live next to a Pub, and one thing I've strongly noticed is that most times when I go next door, I am immediately asked by someone "Would you like a drink?" and then which ever person offers that day, also pays for it. Now, my dear American readers - if you walk into bar in the states does anyone other that the waitress ask you that?!
Now, granite this is a small village and a small pub, so I don't know if you would get the same offer in London or a larger pub. Plus, most of the people you see next door also live in the village and so they do know me. It just seems odd to me that I never have to buy myself a drink!
Am I complaining? No. I love the fact that the people here are so friendly, but yet I really feel like I should repay the favor sometimes and I am never given that opportunity. So what do I do? Just enjoy the favors and tell my husband to buy the whole pub a few rounds when he returns or what?
If I get in there before anyone sees or catches me, I can get away with buying my own drink - but that is a rare occasion. I really am not complaining, I love the niceness, but it is hard to get used to. Maybe it's my "American-ness" but I feel as though I should repair the favor, and try as I might, it never works out.
That is not the only type "favors" I've received. When I've needed help, let me give you some examples:
- We had the Bouncy Castle for Brier's birthday party - I needed help setting it up and taking it down.
- The bicycles needed air in the tires and drink holders attached.
- I couldn't get the helium tank to work.
- Lady ran off.
- I needed help with the kids for an hour or so.
- I needed a ride to the airport to get my Mom.
- I needed the grass under the swing set cut - so the kids could play on it.
I had help for all those things, whether it be from my Landlord or friends from the Pub. I've tried buying drinks as a way to say "Thank you", but that never works out. I've said thank you, personally. I've baked brownies, or banana bread, or gotten little gifts as thank yous...but yet I still feel I need a better way to say "Thank you" and I've just not found it. Am I being too sensitive about it? Seems an odd word for me, but I'm having a difficult time adjusting to all the niceness of my British friends. Weird uh?
I just do not want anyone to think me, ungrateful. I'm very grateful. I appreciate all they do and have done. I just wish they'd let me repay the kindness sometimes. Relationships; no matter the type, are about give and take. I don't feel as if I'm giving as much as I'm receiving. Once upon a time that wouldn't have bothered me in the least little bit, but I'm not as cruel as I once was either.
However, I am not blind to the fact that sometimes favors can have a hidden agenda. It is true people really do things out of the kindness of their hearts, but sometimes that kindness could lead to trouble, if you don't stop and ask yourself this one question.
"When is a favor simply too nice to be just a favor?"
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