Little Sniffles

Last night as I sat in the office checking email and playing Luxor, I heard what I thought was one of my children sniffling. I listened a bit longer and it continued, so I climbed the stairs to see who might possibly have the runny nose.

I topped the stairs, ever so quietly, and peered around the door into the first room, my daughters. There she sat in the middle of her bed, clinging to her teddy bear, her face buried in his fur as she cried. I said, "Ash?" and two big brown eyes peered up at me from the fur in which they were hiding.

I climbed a few steps of her ladder to her bed, so that I could reach her and said, "Honey, what's the matter?"

After a moment or two she came closer to me and asked, "Do you know why I don't like doing the spider-gram or the diary at School about our Christmas break?"

I reply, "No, honey I don't know why. You like to write you are very good at it, so why are you not enjoying this assignment?"

She tells me, "Because today {sniffle sniffle} at school when we were working on them {sniffle sniffle} everybody was writing about their families visiting {sniffle sniffle} or going to see their grandma's and grandpa's {sniffle sniffle} and I didn't get to see mine! {sniffle sniffle} I don't have anything write about {sniffle sniffle}. I miss Nana and Papa so much {sniffle sniffle}"

So as I listened to my daughter pour her heartbreak out to me and watched the tears stream down puffy cheeks from big beautiful brown eyes, I wondered "How does a Mom teach their child about saying Goodbye about the changes that come with it?" It is okay for her to hurt and it is even okay to cry every now and then.

I miss Ohio probably as much as she misses her Nana and Papa. I even sat and watched the video from mine & David's vow renewal yesterday - I did not cry though. I knew how much I missed everyone and our church. I know I hope to someday be there again. So I got it in my mind to thinking about the party we'd have and went on with my day. How do you teach your child to turn her "missing thoughts" to "future thoughts" or "happy thoughts".

Goodbyes are never easy - sometimes it is easier to run from them, than to experience them; but that is unhealthy.

When I was 15 we moved away from a town we were living in; in Mississippi. I was finally making decent grades, things looked good, and here we were packing up and running off. I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone, none of my friends...nothing. There were several hurt feelings. So every time we move I make sure the kids have a chance to spend time with their friends/family and we have a "going away" party or a "goodbye is not forever" party.

Ashlynn though, she gets so attached to people and family. She spent the first 2 years of her life at the Farm nearly every weekend, we visited every year, and she spent lengthy summers there. It's her second home and she treats it as such. I know how she misses it, what I don't know is how to teach her that she'll visit again and to think happy thoughts, to allow joy to feel her soul with the thought of being "home again".

How do you teach her that HOME is simply where the heart is, if her heart is in Missouri? I just don't know. For all the blessing we have as a military family, it still has it's moments that make you ask, "How God, how do I do this?" It is not always a walk in the park, but we do the best we can.

So I reached over and I wiped my baby's tears, tucked her long brown hair behind her ears and said, "Honey, we don't always go there for Christmas. Sometimes we don't go anywhere, you know that. {she nods her head} We will go visit again sometime, I promise. How about you call Nana and Papa tomorrow when you get home from school?"

She replies with a very sniffled "Okay".

"Maybe that would help and I am sure they would love to hear from you. I also think they are trying to get a web cam, so you will be able to see them soon, okay?

Another less sniffled "Okay".

"Try to get some sleep honey, you have school tomorrow and you will be tired if you stay up crying. Alright?"

Tiredly she nods her head, grabs her bear, and curls back up under the covers.

"I love you, goodnight honey."

Thankfully, she went to sleep and accepted my weak answer, yet we heard left over sniffles for at least a half hour. Her poor heart was breaking and so I hope this assignment in school is over soon or that I come up with a better answer.

Pray for her and God will always give us the correct answers for those "hard" questions that make you ask "why".

Tonya